Kratos: the now-ultimate undateable man
for a long time, i have tried to convince my gamer friends that kratos [of god of war fame] is almost the perfect man. sure, he has baggage [who does not?], but man: once that fucker commits, that’s it. nothing gets in his way. sure he allegedly killed his wife, but that’s likely a rumour. plus, from what i’ve seen she seemed to be a bitch anyway. ditto for the child. besides, he loved them both SO much he’s now actively seeking revenge, sometimes in creative ways but usually in such a direct way that you can’t help but admire his ambition to succeed.
la la la what else… oh, his attitude towards authority is really hot. he listens, but the second you step out of line, he puts you back in your place. forget who you think you are: step off.
let’s not forget the body. keeping yourself fit will never go out of style. he’s secure enough within himself to prance in a kilt, and full body makeup. interesting.
anyway, my arguments have never won a convert. i suppose this is mainly due to them being so half-assed [he’s a video game character, and i know damn well he was possessed and then killed his family]. also, real life men are better.
i discovered a point recently though that really killed any relationship my beloved and i might ever have: he has an even more dramatic secret! his brother wants him dead. i think this smacks of mental illness [no other explanation, says i]. it was published somewhere else [click on the damn link and read about it], so i can’t even claim the glory of making it up for my entertainment.
this whole weirdo brother scenario has been around since the game rocked the ps2, but apparently a trophy is awarded for watching this one video. i don’t recall the whole story – again, do click on the link i provided.
it’s one silver trophy out of the whole god of war collection trophy list though. pretty significant if it’s silver. i heard about it, was offended and naturally rushed to blog about it. god forbid i miss a chance to tell the world what another obnoxious gamer thinks of something fictional.
