well, another year, another stupid holiday. i just want to put out there that my men show me love all year round. you know? and then i show them love all year round. we have a good system. we don’t do this ‘candlelit dinner eating’, or ‘chocolate munching’.
we as sure as fuck don’t do ‘messages in greeting card holiday’. anyway, i have a lot of single gamer friends out there, and here’s an antidote for you all against tomorrow’s bullshit.
1. show yourself love. go buy yourself a new game.
2. we all need a hobby. it’s ok to show your (strange and probably sexual) feelings towards certain characters, but you only have one day. use your time wisely, son.
3. send messages to everyone on your list, and thank them for being awesome. to be a gamer, you must be clever. there, as noted, are stupid people out there. a lot of them.
4. feel free, on feb14 only, to build yourself a fantasy life in a game like the sims. however! when the clock strikes 12, you must burn your virtual love nest down and perform some sort of cleansing ritual.
5. finally, pay more attention to those around you in general. your friends, your family… look, it’s fun being a gamer, but we look like dorks to most of the world. they put up with us. they make us dinner. they provide us with stuff we’re too distracted to do ourselves.