world of warcraft: it gets worse
ok. so every one of my readers knows how much i dislike world of warcraft. it is a waste of money. mainly it’s because some of my friends have to stop what they are doing and go do whatever fuckass guild shit commands them to do at that time. or they can’t come to the bar because they bought an expansion pack. it’s fucking ridiculous, that’s what it is.
you don’t feel that way? that’s fine. this is a free country and we are all entitled to our opinions. we will overlook the fact that some of us are more right than others.
world of warcraft, once again, has really pissed me off.
anyway. i am going off-message and spouting rogue theories and that’s not why i am here today. i am here today because this – plague – has gone too far.
it seems that a couple of idiots have brought this nonsense into their home. it’s something about a tribe…or a club, um group thingy being the theme of their bathroom. ordinarily, i would sigh with delight at the fact that finally ‘world of warcraft’ and ‘toilet’ are in the same sentence, but not so. these morons have actually decorated their bathroom with this.
i am at a loss for words. i hope someone desecrates that bathroom.
i am so sick of hearing how other games are going to ‘convert’ console gamers. it’s the iphone. it’s the computer. it’s the ipad. goddamn it, now even n4g, the rational voice of gamers everywhere, has joined the fray. they are trying to tell us that computers are going to replace the console.
fuck those guys. fuck the horse they rode in on too.
i am a firm believer that gamers are never going to give up their console. why? mainly because i believe that the market can support both. both have their pros and cons. read up for obnoxious gamer’s specifics, bitches.
- we use it to watch movies.
- we use it to watch tv.
- it’s the investment. we have all poured a shocking amount of money into the hardware and software of our ps3.
- it does the internet. sure, you can have some fancy sound system, but the internet browser will run a youtube playlist. and how cool is it to have a party with a video playlist?
- laptops, if you are hoping for any portability, have small screens. do you want to play killzone 2 on your dinky 16″ screen, or would you prefer a rocking 60″ tv?
- remote play features. it’s a commuter’s wet dream.
- 3D gaming. i used to think it was a load of horseshit and then i tried it at future shop. it was totally the restaurant scene in when harry met sally.
- it helps cure CANCER. seriously, stanford university gets the thumbs up here. can millions of gamers go wrong? of course not. what a brilliant idea.
- hardcore computer gamers are insufferable nerds. have you ever met a world of witchcraft player in real life? some of my friends play this shit. lord god if my eyes don’t just bleed after a while when they’re talking about their
cult guild. and when they bail on actual life because they’ve got some dumbass raid mission or christ knows what? lame.
anyway, that list was without any real effort. just so the haters out there understand, i am not saying that computer gaming is without merit. i spend a lot of time playing stuff like geneforge 2 and the sims on my mac. i really enjoy it. logistically, i personally don’t think that those games would work on a ps3.
i am sure we can all think of reasons why computer gaming will never replace the console. just to be on the safe side, let’s all get out there with some propaganda though.
UGH. my sentiments of world of weirdos [world of warcraft to most people] are so strong i had to express it in capital letters. capitals! you know it’s serious when that happens. nothing i hear about this game inspires me to play it. i’m sorry, i have a real job, and i cannot take time out to go and schedule a time to raid your fictitious little bitch of a village.
and this bullshit about paying to play? excuse me? real money? every month? fuck that shit. i’m going to take that money and buy some gas and matches. then i am going to hold an immense bonfire and burn the shit out of every copy of this game that i find.
plus all this clan crap and guild stuff… man, i don’t wanna join that shit.
anyway, that’s just my opinion. and before i get a deluge of hate mail, let me just say that i’d obviously never burn plastic. bad for the earth AND my lungs. plus i would probably offend the handful of people that i know who play it. they tell me that the allure of the game is the strategy and the people they meet.
i guess i just have a problem believing that games like this, a dependence on real-world resources like time and money can be so popular.
i cannot believe this msnbc story i read the other day. winda benedetti is hilarious, but she was very factual about it. she’s very professional, so maybe she felt the same way but was too classy to call out this asshole. i’m not classy – like you know, i am an obnoxious gamer and i am full of opinions.
the article was about some guy who pointed out to blizzard/activison an error in the game. maybe it was an expansion pack. i don’t know. i started to watch the video, but it was so gouge-out-my-own-eyes boring that i blacked out. that probably would have been the end of it, but it turns out that blizzard REWARDED HIM. with his own character, no less. seriously? why the HELL don’t games do their OWN quality assurance?! why is this concept so dead?!
fuck. i’m gonna blackout again, this time from rage.
bill lumbergh from office space: neither a great nor challenging boss
another day, another story about video games. this time, it’s about level bosses that were challenging. in a related topic: nostalgia.
the thing about old games is that they prided themselves on being difficult. none of this ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ shit that most games now pull.
plus, there was no running to the internet to see how to defeat someone. it was a matter of skill. it was a matter of dexterity.
10. liquid ocelot – metal gear solid 4
9. king k. rool – donkey kong country
8. nightmare – devil may cry
6. onyxia – world of warcraft
5. sephiroth – final fantasy
4. hydra – god of war
3. psycho mantis – metal gear solid rising
2. penance – final fantasy
1. ganondorf – legend of zelda
if you’re looking for a lengthier explanation, check out the full article over at brighthub.com.
haha. just when you thought that it was impossible for dorks world of warcraft players to be finally accepted by society, they go and do something even dumber than playing the damn game.
now this next bit isn’t really news, but it’s worth mentioning since i usually claim that this is a gaming blog. i also think people playing this game have something missing from their lives. i have friends who play it, and i hate having to reschedule a real life adventure because someone’s virtual guild is too stupid to function by itself while said friend is gone for 3 hours.
world of warcraft hut
anyway. onto the meat of this post. it seem the king of dorks, i.e. those who attend MIT [points if you think this means ‘munchkins in training’] have built a hut to ‘take care of your real-world needs’. i say that with some sarcasm, since there is STILL no option to take a big wet dump on the game itself. here’s what the hut does provide:
- a throne that can also be used as a toilet (barf)
- a cookpot
- a computer and monitor for gameplay
you still with us? wicked. obviously you are oh-so-interested, so here are more details.
“When a player gets hungry playing inside the hut, he or she just selects one of the prepackaged food packs on the wall, holds the printed semacode under a scanner, and places it on the hot plate. From here, the hardware takes over and physically adjusts the hotplate to cook the food for the right amount of time while the player’s corresponding avatar pauses the game and loudly announces the progress to others in the realm”
yeah? you STILL with us? that’s amazing. as a bonus, go check out the rest of the world of warcraft hut details on cnet. just a warning, it may bore you to death.
let me preface this whole post by saying i think world of warcraft players are whiny little shits. some of my best friends play this shit, and i still hold that opinion. i don’t know how many times i have been asked to join someone’s guild, and then been arrested for murder. ahhhh… maybe i am joking about that whole ‘murder’ part. maybe. either way i am strongly against it.
which is why i have SUCH a hard time believing this video is real. i don’t if this guy is having a seizure, is being possessed, or is simply retarded.
ok. while the practice of selling shit is as old as the earth, i feel compelled to address what seems to be a surge in selling WoW accounts lately. in fact, doing a search on google will get you literally millions of results. you know, i heard about this a few years back, and thought it was a joke. however, more and more blog sites are pointing to this being a trend. i don’t know if it’s the economy, the fact that warcraft is as cool as giving a dog a lobotomy, or simply a sign of severe stupidity among the masses. anyway. here’s a screenshot from a site doing this shit:
world of weirdos - selling your world of warcraft account